10 Reasons Why We Should Sue President Obama

Last week, the United States House of Representatives took a first-of-its-kind step and sued President Obama.

Yes, you heard that right: the lower body of our legislative branch, the one with 435 voting members who are entrusted with the job of representing us, voted on a party line vote (with 5 republicans voting against the measure because it wasn’t “drastic enough”) to sue the President of the United States.

The grounds for the suit? Doing his job. The Republican caucus, championed by their great leader, Speaker of the House John Boehner, claim that President Obama overstepped the powers of the presidency by delaying a section of the Affordable Care Act known as the employer mandate.

To many, including President Obama himself, this movement is merely seen as a political stunt, a heinous and expensive act (with the bill coming out of our pocketbooks). To others, such as many conservative voters, it is seen as a watered down impeachment.

To me, it seems like a great way to open the doors for all of us to get a chance to take President Obama to court.

I present, ten reasons why we should sue The President of the United States:
1. For not warning us about Beyonce’s new album and the Internet frenzy that ensued. We know you knew Barack. 

2. For using Middle Eastern oil in Airforce One instead of domestic oil. Made in America, pu-lease. 

3. For bringing the mom jean back in style. Literally the worst. 

Barack Obama


4. For unleashing Michelle Obama on the world and forcing us all to do more arm curls out of envy. We will never have those arms. Never. 

5. For giving us six years of forwarded emails from our grandparents with titles like  “Barack Hussein Obama Admits He is a Muslim!” or “Show Us Your Birth Certificate, Mr. President” or “Obama, a Marxist, progressive, socialist takes your rights away!” I lied, these are literally, literally the worst.

6. For not using an executive order to keep Detective Stabler on Law and Order SVU. We miss you so much Elliot. 


7. For surveying all of our text messages and not providing us a detailed report full of guidelines for how to best text your crush. You have all the research! 


8. For using Joe Biden as a handsome, charming distraction. No other man will ever be as simultaneously creepy and sexy as Uncle Joe.

9. For not allowing all the unemployed millennials to “crash at his place” for a few days while they looked for jobs. It’s just…this economy man… 

10. And finally: For overstepping his executive powers and breaking the cardinal rule of Chipotle. The sneeze guard is there for a reason sir.


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