We’ve all been there with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s mixed with tears in our hands while wearing the same sweats as yesterday. Trust me, I was there a few months ago. At first, it felt like the floor had been ripped up from underneath my feet. This may be where you’re at or maybe your heart just got broken. Regardless, I’m here to let you know that it gets better. That may sound like the same old broken record, but it seriously does. Along my own journey, I’ve read article upon article in my search for how to do away with my aching heart. Most of them had more cheese than a block of velveeta, so I’ve decided to save you the trouble and let you know the real way to heal. Forget every bit of advice everyone has given you thus far and let the journey begin. Let’s get ready, because this isn’t easy or sweet.
First off, I know we’re the generation of tweeters and twerkers but put the social media down and stop going out and getting wasted every night. I know it is tempting to drink 3 long islands and then decide that tagging your ex in a status update but please, just back away. Turn the phone off if things are too tempting. Live in the moment, not on their profile page. Block them every way you can if that is what needs to be done. Block their texts, their calls. Block their sub par blog and their pathetic Facebook. Do it and don’t look back, you only have better things ahead.
Now that you’ve got them out of the real and virtual picture, get yourself back in it. Do stuff that you like to do. If you want to get your nails painted, then go out and get the most glittery “I don’t need to cry, I’m fabulous” color you can get. Cut your hair all the way off. Change your appearance and reclaim your identity. For some, writing is a great tool. I myself have written some hellacious poetry on my journey. Maybe hitting the gym is your thing too. Nothing crushes heartbreak like pumping some iron like a beast. Regardless, do something that makes you and only you be happy. Be selfish for once.
OK, now that you’ve given yourself a lift up, it isn’t all about you. With your new outlook, it’s time to turn to those around you. It gets lonely being newly single since all of a sudden, you’re aware of all the couples around you. Avoid jumping into the dating pool again, but instead take a dive into the friends and family pool. Have a crazy aunt who wanted to take you to her bingo group? Just do it. It gets you out of the house and shows you how much you are loved. Reach out to friends who you might have lost a connection with. Apologize for losing touch. Sincerity is key. Surround yourself with ambitious and positive people who are just as great as you are.
At this point, you’re probably feeling pretty awesome. You’ve kicked your heartbreak to the curb and have gotten yourself back and have an amazing support group. You may feel the best you have in months. But wait… one morning you wake up sad for no apparent reason and you feel like you’re back at square one. This is the most important final piece of the puzzle: let yourself grieve. You’ve suffered a loss. You’ve hurt. It’s okay to be upset, but don’t let it define you. Remember that you’re an amazing individual. It’s okay to get knocked down, but when you fall do you stay on the ground? No, you pick yourself up like the superhuman you are. Breaking up with heartbreak is easy when you learn to love yourself. Let the love begin!
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