The sad truth about developing this idea is that I realized- they really don’t make kid’s movies like they used to. When I was growing up in the mid-90’s, we had childhood classics like “Heavyweights” and “Hook”. It was a genre set on teenage themes, coming to terms with growing up, facing adversity, and unrelenting human spirit. This whole age demographic is missing in theaters these days, probably because they found out it doesn’t exactly generate much profit. These were movies made for kids older than 6, and younger than 15. (although don’t get me wrong, I’d still watch the sh*t out of them) When I was a kid, I had about 10 movies I’d keep on a serious rotation. These were my rock solid favorite movies that I would never get sick of, and the lessons we can all learn from them…
A Goofy Movie – If you have a crush on a girl, it’s normal to act like a goof. Have the balls to ask her out. Family comes first. Lester’s Possum Park is AWESOME. Powerline has awful security, but their tunes will live on forever and they put on an awesome show. I’m still crushing on Roxanne, even if she is a fictional dog.
Space Jam – Always let Bill Murray on your team. The placebo effect is real. No matter how large your competitor is, with enough creativity and confidence, you can beat them. Don’t ever call a girl, “doll”. I’m still crushing on Lola Bunny, even if she is a fictional rabbit.
Hook – No matter how old you get, you must keep a youthful spirit (and believe!). Always make friends with Filipino ninjas. Real food fights are never as good as fake ones. To live would be an awfully great adventure. There is a direct correlation between how good of a dancer you are, and how chubby you are.
Heavyweights – The Apache relay is awesome and should be a real thing. There is no one more vulnerable than a kid in fat camp. Bears looooooooooove honey! All it takes is one crazy guy to start a dance party. Repulse the monkey. Hide your deli meat in better places. “OH LOOK, A DELI MEAT!”
The Mighty Ducks (1, D2,and D3) – We’re team USA…and we’re going all the way.