I relate to the next dating mistake greatly because I’m riddled with tons of them.
I’m talking about insecurities.
These are the things that scream inside of you that tell you
“You’re too fat…you’ll never be pretty enough…your significant other is cheating on you because you’re worthless.” These may be just some of the thoughts that run through your head on the daily basis. You have these thoughts that cripple you, and make you unable to act like a normal human being.
There are things throughout our lives that make us who we are, both good and bad. If you’re built up your entire life, supported by your parents, and have self-confidence, then you are one lucky person. If you’re like the rest of us, then you were broken down in life. You may have heard that you were “fat, stupid, ugly”, or anything really damaging to your fragile ego.
When we date Winners they all seem to chip away at the self-respect we should have for ourselves. Every time they cheat on you, every time they use all your money, drugs, every single lie they tell you. There are many things that can lead to you feeling bad about yourself so you keep repeating the same pattern of dating.
When you date bad people it takes you a long time, if ever, to recover for the mess they put you though. They chip away at the things that you know aren’t right. I call those “Red Flags”, and you shouldn’t ignore them. When you allow yourself to look past that screaming gut instinct that tells you “NOOOO!” You set yourself up for a failure of a relationship.
That however is not what this piece is about.
I’m talking about when you try to date after a break-up, when you date someone who actually has it together. This person actually would be good to you, and treat you with the respect you deserve. They won’t lie to you, disrespect you, or treat you badly. How do you react?
The complete opposite of how you should. You pick fights, or start drama because you’re looking for that spark you had before. You confuse emotional masochism with love because it’s what makes you comfortable. It’s what you’ve known, and that’s really when your insecurities come out to play. You begin to think all those things you were told by past lovers, or people that were supposed to love you. You create this drama because you don’t love yourself. You pick fights because you want that fight-sex- love cycle you were so familiar with. That’s what you think your relationship should be, because you’re insecure with yourself. You aren’t thinking you deserve better.
Photo Source: life2pointoh.com