Should I Change for a Guy?
A lot of girls are asking themselves an infamous question that has been around for a long time. Why am I still single? As human beings, we are social creatures. It is natural for us to long for companionship. The need or desire to be with someone can overwhelm you, driving you to this question. This feeling is capable of becoming so powerful that it may drive you to extreme measures. It’s possible to find yourself in a position you never thought you’d be in or doing things you would never expect to be doing. People have said they would do anything for love. Changing your appearance or even entire personality is a prime example. Truth is there are a number of reasons why you are alone. We’ll get into them in just one minute. First, let me share a brief story with you about what inspired me to write this.
A friend of mine was feeling conflicted. She couldn’t possibly understand why she was single. She is a beautiful young woman who defines herself as a tomboy or sporty. Playing video games, staying fit, active in sports, wearing sweat pants, and being relaxed best describes how she spends her days. Yet, she still does what she considers “girly” such as polishing her nails, shrieking, and running away from bugs. Being a virgin is something dear to her and makes her proud. With all these traits in play, but still no BF, she feels as though there is something wrong with her. Bad experiences with boys not accepting her sporty spirit or calling her fat and ugly have made her question herself. Believing that she turns off guys leads her to think that she must change. And that’s it! The breaking point where some women feel that they have been single for too long and men aren’t giving them the time of day, therefore it’s time they make a change. Yes! It is time for change, but not the kind you’re thinking about. Rather than becoming someone you’re not, transform the way you view time spent with yourself (aka being single). Embrace and enjoy the rare moments you have alone, because someday your special someone will find you. In that moment, your me time will become our time. Leading us to the question that all the single ladies want answered. Why am I single?
The answer is simple, excluding those who choose to be single, and is all about timing. Before getting into a serious and committed relationship one must be mentally, emotionally, and financially stable. When I say financially stable I do not mean you should be well off. You need to be capable of supporting your own self and not out here looking for a sugar daddy because that will only hurt you in the end. Basically, you need to have all your stuff together. Now, evaluate yourself and ask, “Am I these three things?” If not, then keep reading. Reason 1. Mental Stability. Face it, no one wants to date a crazy chick. Let’s be honest, a person’s mental state is extremely viable to a relationship. The way you think, react, speak and interact with others plays a major part in how well your connection will be. Being capable of holding conversations, problem solving, understanding things, and aware of your surroundings are all key factors of your mental state. When a person is unable to deal with issues, then how can they be expected to have a healthy disagreement with their spouse? The ability to argue, understand and console each other, and then make up speaks volume of your mental state. There are many immature couples that like to fight and makeup because they think it’s sexy. No. It’s unhealthy. Grow up. Reason 2. Emotional Stability. All a guy wants is for a girl to be crying all over him every two seconds. That was sarcasm of course. No one wants that. Check your feelings at the door. Not everything in life is worth a response or reaction. This is where patience comes into play. Say something happens to you like the barista at Starbucks mixed up your order. Rather than complaining about your day being ruined, take it as an opportunity to try something new. You wanted a frap, but got a latte instead. Who cares? Change is good, so keep it moving. Of course, you can always calmly correct the barista and get your right order. Point being that when you find yourself overwhelmed, take a step back to breathe and assess the situation. You can consider how you want to deal with it or do nothing at all and move on. Remember, there’s a time and place for everything. Reason 3. Financial Stability. Pretty self explanatory. Be at a point in your life where you can take care of yourself. You want a man, not an ATM. Provide for yourself because independence truly is sexy. It’s okay to receive gifts. Buying gifts for a BF or GF is fine, it’s normal. Just be willing to pay your own bills.
That’s it! Three easy reasons why most people are single. Each one plays off the other. Mental and emotional stability go hand in hand when problem solving and interacting with others. Financially and mentally stable work well together when dealing with budgeting and being money smart. Be sure not to want to change key traits about yourself just to be with someone. A relationship cannot thrive on a false structure. Work on you to be sure you are together mentally, emotionally, and financially. Remember to be patient. Your man will find you, so you don’t have to be desperately searching for him. Cherish the now, enjoy me time, and he’ll be at your door step before you know it ;)