Why You Should Buy Your Own Lingerie

I love lingerie. Throughout the dry spells and monsoons, my lingerie covers me in an invisible suit of armor. Under a t-shirt and jeans, no one knows how the lace clings to your curves except you. You feel the fabric brush at your clothes with every swing of your hip and find yourself strutting, not walking, to the copy machine.

Initially, yes, it can be quite confusing getting in and out of a hook and eye clasp corset with garter attachments and back-seamed thigh highs. The first time I tried to get into a suspender-garter belt combination piece with Cuban heel, back-seamed tights, it took about ten minutes of rolling around in my bed with frequent mirror checks to get it right. Now, it’s my favorite intimate ensemble and takes no more than three minutes to slip on.

Your everyday lingerie does not have to be that complicated, but a little lace, silk and satin can do wonders for your mood and the right bra can completely change the way your tops and dresses hang on you. You should not view lingerie as a way to present yourself to a lover, but rather as an expression of your inner sensuality.

Every piece of lingerie I own, with the exception of a lime green teddy and matching thong, was purchased for myself and myself only. I briefly had a very capable lover and he was a fan of less traditional colors in the bedroom. After a couple of months, I bought the teddy with him in mind. On the night I planned on surprising him with it, I was somewhat courteously dumped. I’ve attempted to wear this piece on two occasions since and in both situations I tore it off faster than a premature ejaculation.

I let it gather dust now because it has never been mine; it will always belong to him. I’ve since made full rotations of my constantly growing collection with various partners. I never associate a certain piece with a particular person, no matter how intense the relationship, because my collection is an extension of myself. By taking the power into your own hands, you can control your comfort, develop your own sense of style and establish a cornerstone of your sexual identity.

If you’re worried about your size, most of the mainstream lingerie boutiques/websites have complementary plus size sections. There are also sites and stores like Hips & Curves that exclusively cater to women who have a little extra to love. I’ve found that many women do not purchase sexy undergarments for themselves. While it can be flattering that your lover thinks you’re a size or two smaller than you are, it’s more often embarrassing trying to squeeze into something that clearly wasn’t made for you.

Getting the right size and wearing lingerie under your everyday clothes makes all the accoutrements feel increasingly natural. Soon enough, whether you’re a size 4 or 24, all that satin will start to feel like a second skin.

My mother always says, “It’s not the clothes, it’s you in the clothes.” You’ll only ever be as beautiful as you feel and lingerie is a rare way you can boost that self-esteem from the outside-in.