Dating Success vs Work Success


Earlier today I was chatting up my grandmother (this isn’t something I typically do but is something I typically feel guilty about. I am no better than you when it comes to calling my grandmother) having one of our catch-ups. She told me what was going on in her life and I filled her in on what I’ve been doing lately. For example: running two blogs, editing videos for my new YouTube channel and securing a new contributing writer opportunity here at Collective Lifestyle. While I was jabbering away about how excited I was to finally be engaged in activities that brought me pure and total joy, I noticed that the phone got very quiet. Dead almost.

“Grandmama, are you still there?”

“Yes, Jasmine. That’s good. Keep up with your studies.”

Her voice was quite dry and I got the sense that maybe I was just talking way too much. I shrugged it off asking her about her day. She told me about her “Susu” club, which is basically a group of elderly women who each contribute a designated sum a month with each woman taking turns in getting whatever total they manage to contribute. Eventually the each woman will get the “jackpot” if they maintain their monthly contributions. I think it’s an awesome savings plan, if I knew what savings were. I listened intently as my grandmother prattled on about the devious ways in which each member choose to spend their lump sum. This retelling of actual events by grandmother was as good as a mid day soap opera– to my grandmother. Not so much to me but I was a doting grandchild. That is until she asked me the age old question that I’m confident she manages to slip into conversation whenever I call:

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

To my grandmother’s credit, she does work her creative genius by coming up with interesting ways to phrase the same exact question, such as:

“How’s the dating life?”

“Whose the new man?”

“And where did you and the boyfriend go out to dinner this week?”

That last one always gets me because never have I ever discussed a dinner date with my grandmother. That is, for me, the comfortability equivalent of cleaning a toilet bowl. My responses veer on the side of hallucination with a dash of creativity myself as I brainstorm ways to make my hum-drum single life sound interesting. I tried my best to make up for my lack of said “man” by adding a little razzle dazzle to what I had previously thought was a wonderful night out. Why did I feel need to make up for something that didn’t exactly need making up for?

Well, as young women we are plagued by some heavy expectations. These expectations are almost always focused on women growing up to be successful mothers and wives. Very rarely does society take pride in a woman who excels in her career. We never celebrate the woman who made a million dollars off an app. No, instead we ask “so when do you plan on settling down?”

I had hoped my grandmother would take a greater interest in my interests but that may have been asking too much of an elderly women whose source of entertainment was the Sex and the City style escapades of her granddaughter. And honestly speaking, I don’t have much going on in that area because “I’m bout this paper!!! Ya feel me?”. Or at least I’m patiently awaiting for this paper to come in. In the meanwhile, I’m pursuing my passion for words, society be damned! I’m a woman with drive whose got plenty to offer. Get with the program already.


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