When your time is limited with a person, you can’t help but have a constant timer winding down in the back of your mind. Sorry, I guess you guys deserve some backstory. Well, like I’ve said in a previous blog, I started college at 19 and got in an accident in the middle of my second semester. A few of the acquaintances I made that year were freshmen, like me. Naturally, time went by and when I came back, those freshmen were now sophomores; each of them was transferring within the next semester or so. When I returned, I was greeted with open arms from those acquaintances, and they introduced me to their friends. Acquaintanceships turned to friendships through night’s downtown bar-hopping, birthday parties, BBQ’s, and camping near the California coast.
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you’re having fun. Now, here we are, three weeks away from the end of the semester. They’ve all received their acceptance letters, all of which are from great schools. I couldn’t be more excited for them, but my selfishness has been poking its ugly little head out, lately. When I feel someone leaving, I tend to phase myself out and eventually push people away. I sure know how to pick ‘em because the group noticed what I was doing, fairly quickly, and put a stop to it. It’s always been easier for me to let someone go when I’m pretending to be mad at them, but that isn’t an option this time. I have no choice but to hurt, and that’s just life. We won’t even have the chance to finish finals and have the summer together, nope. All of them are taking off with families or significant others for the summer, so they can “bond” or whatever they call it. They’ll probably be back for a few days before they’re off to their stupid, ugly, dumb colleges… Is it too much of me to ask for them to just, you know, not leave?
Obviously I’m joking, but I will undoubtedly miss them. It’s different this time, though. They’re worth the pain, tears, and a night or two of stalking their Facebooks once they’re gone, just to see if they found any new best friends. Life is amazingly unfair sometimes, especially when it comes to the lack of control you have over who comes and goes. Some people you may wish you’d never met, and then there are those people that you wish would never leave. With a blink of an eye, they’re gone, and you’re left asking yourself where the time went. Amazing memories and the hopes of seeing them when they come back into town is what will get you past the first few weeks. Putting myself in their shoes granted me some clarity. Time for some more internal monologue:
You think you’re scared? Imagine how they feel… they’re going to a new city. Others might leave the state or even the country! Alone. You can’t even go to Costco without freaking out when you lose your mom, imagine being somewhere completely new, with no friends or family, and being expected to jump right in. You should mention that some more, they might stay.
I remember someone once told me that people only come into your life for seasons, and they all leave in the end. I’m not sure I believe that because I know many of us will hold true to what our friends taught us. They have helped us reach our highest highs and picked us up from our lowest lows. They’ve been there to pick us up at 2 A.M. and drive us home when we’re too drunk, they’ve been with us at Denny’s when the sun came up, and they’ve held us when life was just too much to handle at the time. Many might have been Godsends, who talked plenty of us off of the edge. They kept us on the right path, and you returned the favor whenever you could. Their parents have pretty much adopted you and they treat you like family. True friendships never die. True friends will always carry a piece of each other, wherever they go.
So, what do you do once they’re gone? I’m not sure; I was hoping you could tell me. I guess we just take it a day at a time, some of us might need some extra alone time—a.k.a. Netflix. Or, some of us might need a ton of people around us, ASAP. It’ll get easier over time, and eventually it’ll be ok. The phone calls, pictures, or presents they send from wherever they are will let you know you’re remembered. If you close your eyes, spin around three times and believe hard enough… they won’t show up and you’ll look silly. So don’t wait on a fairy godmother, get your butt in the car and go see their stupid faces. It might be the motivation you need to transfer to that school and get the band back together.
Just in case you’re the one transferring, don’t be scared of being forgotten. You won’t be, and we’ll always have time for you when you get back. So, all you should be worried about is dominating at that school. You got accepted for a reason, so go show them what you’re made of! It’s okay to find new friends and enjoy your time there. As a matter of fact, we’ll probably feel much better knowing you’re having a blast. Don’t flunk out and come back, there’s a reason you left in the first place. My city is known as the “black hole,” because if you get out, you tend to get sucked back in. This is where dreams come to die, so don’t look back. You were made to do greater things, so get out there and make it happen. We’ll have our turn eventually.
If you can help it, keep that friendship alive. It was worth it at one point, so if you can find a single reason, it’s worth it now; but, sometimes holding on hurts more than letting go. If that’s the case, then there’s really no choice but to move on. You don’t meet people that are worth hurting for very often, therefore you should try and end on good terms. So, for my pizza lover, my prep, and my Hot Cheetos addict… I love you guys so much, and I am so damn proud. You and all those that are leaving will face this new chapter without direction, and I admire your bravery. Don’t feel bad about us, we’ll catch up eventually. It may seem like a long and dark tunnel, so if you get scared, you just need to look back. We’ll be the ones holding a flashlight, telling you to keep going. Eventually you’ll find your own light and you won’t need us anymore, but we’ll be there just in case you do. Just like you were for us. So long, farewell… for now.
Photo Source: dianegottsman.com